How to Die

I often think about death. It is not simply because I am getting closer to the event. I have been focused on the subject from an early age when my mother died so suddenly when I was 13. Then, in the seminary, I became more of a student of death. There was the obvious focus on death and the hereafter in our spiritual and theological efforts, but I was very interested in the existential philosophers whose views of death were  profound. When I functioned as a priest, I clearly was involved with death. My work in Emerson Hospital was particularly striking because of the emergencies involving critical injuries and how death became a very immediate factor. However, I was also moved by the many deaths over the six years where death seemed to be such a disaster to families. Based on my history with the Veterans Administration, I was involved with people who were, in fact, dying from disease.

I have become most comfortable with the "thoughts" death. It will be seen whether I am as comfortable when I am more immediately facing my end. But, one thing that I have been wrestling with is what I will do when I am diagnosed with a serious, progressive disease, e.g., cancer, amenable to treatment without much hope for a cure. I tend to think that I will not undergo such treatment that is intended to extend my life for a relatively short time without any hope of a cure. My thinking was reinforced by an article today in the Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/how-doctors-die-maybe/2011/08/25/gIQAcKU5pO_blog.html#excerpt).

What seems to make sense to me is that I would refuse the treatment. I would then plan for a family gathering as quickly as possible so that I could enjoy sharing a couple of days with such wonderful people. I would hope that we would share a few moments of what life has been with me in the picture, but then quickly enjoy the humor of our relationships and my personal "life-style". And I would surely plan to write a daily log of my experience of transitioning to death.

I am not rushing things. I would like to live long enough to see some of our grandchildren become sufficiently mature to discuss matters with me with some degree of understanding. Since my own children are not clones, I dare say that I would enjoy listening to how they articulate another dimension of reality and marvel at the fact that they too can disagree with me!