On Wednesday when I was visiting a hospice patient in a
nursing home, I met a man older man than I. One word brought on another. He then noted that he would like me to
return the one chair in his room to the place from which I moved it so that I
could talk with my patient. He noted, “My wife sits there when she visits
later”. He shared that he was married 67 years and misses his wife and looks
forward to her nightly visit.
I shared with him my briefer experience of marriage. I noted
that my 45 years with Joan were more than perfect. I always have had a hard
time finding cards for birthdays or anniversaries since most of them referenced
how great the wife was through everything, including the hard times. I could
never select such cards since I have never known “hard times” with Joan.
For someone as relatively naïve as I was (still am to a
degree), it is amazing that I somewhat innocently told Joan that I was going to
graduate school in California (after telling her that I was leaving the
priesthood) and I would love to have her join me. I would understand why she
would have had a problem thinking of a future with a married former priest with
no immediate prospect of gainful work (assuming that graduate school is
“work”).
Crazy as it was, she never hesitated and off we went. And
now, we can look back to the past 45 years with joy with our children and
grandchildren making our senior years a delight. Without daring to imagine
matching a nursing home patient’s 67 years of marriage, I know that my life
with Joan has provided me more blessings than anyone could hope for.
Never planned as such, but our anniversary was memorable
because it was day the first person landed on the moon. It was a truly
remarkable event for mankind. Marrying Joan may not carry the same significance
for mankind, but for one man, she made a world of difference!
