Maggie Mae Adds Joy to our Christmas

For dog lovers, it is so easy to understand how one’s sense of joy is enhanced by a dog.  It is essentially self-evident. Maggie Mae is celebrating her 8th month birthday. She has been a joy from day one, but it continues to amaze us how much this particular dog is special. Her personality is distinctively loving to anyone or any other member of canine family. We realize that she would quickly adapt to any persons, but luckily we are the fortunate ones.

As we look forward to our family’s gathering for Christmas, I am aware that all of our grandchildren are captured by this puppy. And she surely loves them.

We are thankful to Joyce for breeding her. Maggie Mae has made our lives more enjoyable.

Our 50th Wedding Anniversary

Reality often destroys the dreams of tomorrow!  It seemed to be a great idea to spend a week with our family in a fun place to celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary. We would have the grandchildren stay in our house and our adult children would stay in Sean’s house. We would share each day and at the beach and the various pools. On one night we would have a chef come to the house to cook a special meal for our celebration. Otherwise, we would enjoying grilling each night. It would be just great!

And, so thankfully, reality reflected the dreams perfectly! 

We were able to share our happiness with our children and the extended family they created for us. Joan and I were able to share memories that blended so well with the memories of our children and their spouses, and the grandchildren. 

In so many ways, it was so simple, but so meaningful. Nothing could have made the experience better.

50th Wedding Anniversary — 19 July

There are few moments in life that are unique and, ultimately, precious forever. In March 1969, I saw Joan in the church parking lot. I told her privately that I would be leaving the parish and going to California for graduate school. I said, somewhat naively, that I would love her to come with me, but I could understand why she wouldn’t. I was beginning a new experience without much resources. To my delight, Joan quickly said “yes” and a new life started.

Since Joan so readily agreed to join me, unexpected questions surfaced. How should we live? It did not take long to decide to be married. We had to identify a priest who would be willing to officiate at a quiet wedding at Joan’s parents’ house. Since it was still unusual for a priest to be married, we wanted no publicity. Things fell into place rather quickly and on July 19, we were married at the house where Joan grew up. The few people who came were mostly relatives, but there were a few special friends we invited. 

After a wonderful wedding, Joan and I went to New York City for a weekend together. As we celebrated our new life, the United States was celebrating the landing on the moon! In its own way, both events were spectacular! 

Within the next few weeks, we continued our jobs.  Joan continued as a nurse and I started as a taxi cab driver in Boston. We enjoyed our start in marriage and I was happy with my new temporary job. I was always fascinated by taxi cab drivers, but I soon learned how difficult it was. Identifying productive spots and avoiding time in the airport taxi pool were important.  My “career” as a taxi driver ended suddenly when another driver was stabbed to death. I knew enough to quickly quit this summer job.

And so we headed to Berkeley, California, we drove a Volvo with some clothes and a tent that we used each night along Route 80. Each day was special since neither of us ever expected that we would be starting a new life together by traveling across the country. There were so many special moments. We generally chose to leave the highway for breakfast at a very local place that was crowded with town people. It was fascinating. One in Nebraska was a highlight. Mobbed with locals, we had a huge breakfast that cost practically nothing.  We had other special moments, but none more spectacular than our night at Steamboat Springs, Colorado. The scenery that was so special was enhanced by waking up in our tent to the sounds of cows mooing in the meadow. It would not have taken us much to stay, but we were committed to our goal in Berkeley. And, as we drove down University Avenue, we both were wide-eyed blown away with the beauty and the fact that this is where we were starting our new lives. 

For the next five years, I was involved in academics and, in time, I got a job at the VA Hospital in Martinez after completing my practicum. But nothing compared to the experience of Joan’s biking to Oakland’s Children’s Hospital, even when she was pregnant. Occasionally I would go to the neonatal unit to watch her hands care for these extremely small infants. For me, the whole experience was beyond words. 

And then our lives became even more wondrous, When I saw Sara emerge into the world, I was totally overwhelmed. And, in another twelve months we greeted Sean to his new family. Could anything be better? 

We had a few wrinkles along the way. Graduate school did not end as expected, so I went to the University of Louisville for a year to get a Master’s in Social Work. The year we lived in New Albany, Indiana, was special for many reasons from living out of boxes to enjoying my weekly visit to the beautiful town library which had a special children’s room that Sara and Sean enjoyed. 

And, then, after graduation, a new job resulted in a relatively short stay in Derry, NH. A new position at the VA Hospital in Boston prompted us to find a home relatively near Joan’s parents in Medfield. 

We did not anticipate that Sara and Sean wanted another sibling. We had become accustomed to our two children and our dog, Amy. But, we could not resist their pleas and so, Neal joined us to give us more pleasure than we could have ever anticipated.

Unexpectedly, I was bored with social work in a hospital setting. I fortunately got an administrative position in Berkeley, WV which provided us with a unique experience in so many ways. It was surely an area that was remote but so beautiful. We had to make adjustments, and luckily, in one year, I got a similar position in Pittsburgh where everyone enjoyed living. And then, in another year, we returned to our home in Medfield which we had rented since there was no market for homes at that time.

Between March1969 and October 1,1977 (Neal’s birthday), I  had experienced more than anyone could expect in a life time. But, we were open to the future.

The next 42 years were filled with ordinary family tasks and experiences. But, for me, nothing was ordinary! Everything seemed to be miraculous since everything seemed so good. Even being tested by children was beautiful since everything worked out well. Our children adopted our values in many ways, including the benefits of a good education. As it turns out, I am blown away that our children became all that we hoped for.  And, to think that they gave us gifts of their beautiful marriage partners and, in turn, six beautiful grandchildren who have given us so much love. 

As we now celebrate 50 years of marriage, I am awed by the seamless story of love that we have shared. It has almost been too simple! I never lost the beauty of Joan in my life. Each day has been so much the same because it is hard to improve a loving relationship.  When you love someone, there is no need to be angry or loud. We talk and we love and now, we are looking back on 50 years with such humble gratitude. 

I love you, Joan, and am totally grateful to you.    

Maggie Mae’s First Month in her New Home

We have been so happy with Maggie Mae. In one month, so much has happened.  She is such a happy puppy, pleased with so much of life. She eats voraciously her food, licking every centimeter of the bowl repeatedly, per chance a morsel was left. She has gained three pounds since we took Maggie to her new home.

Puppy school has been so interesting. Even the instructor recognizes how intelligent she is. She picks up so quickly the signals for sitting, lying down, and other signals that a puppy has to learn. She enjoys people and other dogs so it is easy to bring her to her weekly class.

We have a schedule for Maggie and, for sure, we are compulsively following the established routines. It is hard to question success.

We are supremely happy with Maggie Mae and hope to enjoy her for a long, long time.

Upheaval

Jared Diamond has always impressed me by his insights into major issues effecting us humans. UPHEAVAL has had its share of critics, but I am not one of them. Based on factors related to human personal crises, he focuses on the history of seven nations (Finland, Japan, Chile, Indonesia, Germany, Australia) that have experienced painful historical crises that resulted in much national pain. He uses the history of these nations as a backdrop to his focus on the United States. 

The United States has been blessed by its geography (huge landmass with two ocean borders and non-threatening neighbors). And yet, the nation shares potential disasters that threaten all nations. While the nations cited for historical 

analysis is interesting, it is his concern about our world’s handling of issues that have no national boundaries that makes one most concerned. Anyone of these issues would make us anxious. As a group, he has elsewhere stated that there is a 49% chance that “the world as we know it will collapse by about 2050” (just think that my oldest grandchild will only be 44 years old).

Given that so many nations have nuclear bombs, there is a major concern that some nation will deploy such a weapon that may well be reciprocated. It is hard to believe that the fear of the use of nuclear is not a deterrent, but clearly there is only evidence of more nations ensuring that they have such power. 

His other concerns have the attention of many, but there is no evidence that we are collectively addressing them.

If we only consider the United States, there is evidence that we are aware of the problem.  But, the efforts to address the issue is, at best, limited. When you consider warming globally, I am impressed that the steps taken by nations is no where commensurate with the measures required to avoid the consequences of global warming.

The consequences of global warming are many. Drought conditions resulting in fire prone area, decreased food production, transmission of insect borne diseases, and the rise of sea levels.  The depletion of natural resources, e.g., oil, will clearly impact our lives even with the growing increase in alternative sources of energy. 

Whatever attempts are made to address the problems associated with global warming will be frustrated by the lack of cooperation between all nations. The United States seems unable to deal with many issues requiring compromise. Our legislative body is deadlocked. The Senate and the House seem diametrically opposed to each other. 

And while attempts are being made to address global warming, the world’s population will increase, especially in Africa, with inevitable need for many to migrate from areas suffering from the lack of resources, e.g.,food, needed for survival. 

I have been very concerned about our world’s survival since I see no evidence of wide-spread appreciation of the serious nature of the problem in the United States, far less the nations of the world. 

Week One for Maggie Mae!

On June 8  Maggie Mae left the remaining litter to become a member of our family.  While Maggie will enjoy the two of us usually, she is considered a member of the family of six grandchildren. 

We left North Berwick after noontime and wondered how Maggie would endure the long ride.  It did not take long to see how fortunate we were. There were no simpers as she either rested or glanced at us from her crate.

We decided to stop in Cambridge so Mika and Emi could meet Maggie. You would think that she was a long lost friend. There was no hesitation as Maggie displayed her affection for them. The visit was great. 

On her first full day in Scituate we decided to do something special with Maggie.  Since we plan to take a short ride with her daily to get her accustomed to the car, our goal this day was a visit to my hospice patient. We had often talked about dogs. He shared stories about his history with dogs. I thought that he would appreciate seeing Maggie. You cannot imagine how much he treasured the experience. Tears were the joy of having Maggie on his chest. 

Needless to say, Joyce (the breeder) had provided us with a boatload of information about our interaction with Maggie.  As recommended, Maggie eats at 7 a.m., noon, and 5 p.m.  Following meals, she is taken outside to pee and poop. And like clockwork, Maggie has performed perfectly. She has slept from 10 pm to 5 am. She enjoys our kitchen “decor” with an occasional bleep indicating that she would rather roam around. Generally, she has enough free time to explore her new house and play wilth her toys. 

In less than one week (June 13), Maggie has had a car ride every day to get her accustomed to travel. She loves everyone she meets.  She seems to need to kiss everyone. With such an attitude toward other humans, it is understandable how she has adopted the role of a hospice dog. Since my current hospice patient and I talked about our history with dogs, I wanted him to experience Maggie. This time Maggie made all the people on the first floor want be near her. Some elderly people in wheelchairs smiled and smiled. Some held her and got a kiss. And then, we went upstairs where Maggie laid on the bed with hand resting on her. Could you dream of a better experience with a nine week old puppy!

On June 13, we went for a vet visit. Every one of technicians wanted to get close to Maggie. Their day was starting off great. Maggie’s visit was as expected.  She did not mind the vaccine to avoid kennel cough. We will wait for three weeks for the next visit. 

The Future of the Catholic Priesthood

James Carroll is a contemporary of mine. We were both priests in the 60’s. He was a Paulist priest. I was a diocesan priest. We were both involved in protests regarding Vietnam and Civil Rights. We both left the priesthood about the same time. He has been a well-known and respected author and writes occasionally about issues associated with the Church. I cannot identify anything I have done that measures up to his accomplishments. But my last 50 years is best measured by a wonderful marriage and three children who gave us their love, their inspiring married partners and six beautiful grandchildren. Celebrating our fiftieth anniversary this summer as a family will be awesome.

We have both written about issues generated by our history and our perception of problems associated with the Catholic Church. His latest article came out today in the Atlantic (June 2019). His writing is prompted by the ongoing reports of priest sex abuse. 

Of interest, during my six years as a priest, I was totally unaware of any priest involved in sex abuse. If a priest was removed temporally from his assigned parish, I was under the impression that he was involved with alcohol abuse. Looking back on the situations, no one talked to me about such situations. In hindsight, I am surprised that I turned down a request to leave the parish for graduate studies so that I could work with “priests with problems”, presumably alcohol. Never did I consider priests involved in the abuse of children. My reason for not accepting the request to be a clinician serving priests was my mission to share with parishioners the excitement resulting from the teachings of the  Vatican Council.  To think that I may had the task of dealing with priests involved with sex abuse makes me tremble. I may have ended up unwittingly facilitating clergy sex abuse. I am unaware of any evidence of  Church authorities understanding the clinical implications of such behavior. I think that the assumption was behavioral change would occur with appropriate intervention. 

During these past fifty years, I have read virtually everything about this issue. James Carroll has forcefully articulated a perspective that I never considered possible, viz., eliminating priests from the Catholic Church. He correctly references the early church that functioned effectively without priests. The clerical priesthood only surfaced in the period establishing the Roman Empire. Constantine wanted to use the clergy to promote stability in the Roman Empire. Until a clergy was established, Christians met in homes to share memories and teachings of Jesus. There was always people who assumed leadership roles without becoming separate from others who shared the memories. But, the need of Constantine to establish control was a force that included regimenting the Catholic Church to support his agenda.

Carroll is aware that the Christianity matured from its infancy without priests. Catholicism is now experiencing a dramatic shortage of priests that will only increase. Associated with the decrease of the clergy has been a decline in parishioners. Clerical sex abuse is clearly a major cause of the decline. There is little evidence that the trend will stop, i.e., the number of priests will continue to decline as well as the number of church goers.

While it seems a stretch of envision the Catholic Church without priests, there is no scenario that can anticipate a return of the past. 

Another Visit to the Puppies

Visiting the puppies once again compensated for the long drive to Berwick, ME. Enjoying the lively and inquisitive puppies would be enough satisfaction, but I also enjoyed the friendship of the mother and the other adult dogs.

Being with dogs is such a beautiful experience. To other dog (animal) lovers, this perception is self-evident. Feeling the dog’s focus of your eyes warms one’s heart. I cannot get enough of a dog’s affection. It is so simple and uncomplicated.

We still have a few weeks to wait for one of the puppies to become our responsibility.

Anticipating a New Puppy

Our grief resulting from Patrick’s sudden death is now merging with the anticipation of a new puppy. If you are a dog lover, it is easy to understand. Life without a dog is clearly feels less complete. 

We are now in the transition period where we are meeting the new litter. Selecting the one of the six in the litter will be a joint decision by the breeder and ourselves.  Based on our recent visit, it will be a relatively easy decision since they are all just beautiful.

We have had a dog companion all of our lives and each of them has been special. We are clearly better people because of them. They have given us so much. 

I wish to share photos of the puppies so that everyone can appreciate the reality that the each of these will be loved. 

Love Your Enemy

Arthur Brooks is a very known conservative economist, a conservative in the line of traditional and  thoughtful conservatives. I have occasionally read columns or articles he has written without ever being impressed. I owe Christiane Amanpour to my eagerness to read his new book, “Love Your Enemies”. 

His book was motivated by our national malaise resulting from our political division resulting from the erosion of the broad middle that historically bridged the conservatives and liberals. We are now experiencing the clash of extremes! It is not only upsetting, it is scary. 

The author engages us by calling us to focus on the person, rather than the words that are spoken. One may totally disagree with the shared view, but he wants us to focus on the person.  

I treasure his approach because I feel caught in a world that I do not enjoy.  I am aware that many of the people who identify with views I deplore have come to their perspective by negative personal experiences. For so many, theIr world has deteriorated for them. They work hard, if they are lucky to have jobs, but they are relatively poorer than so many others.  They expected that the history of each generation being more prosperous than the prior one, only to discover that such an expectation has become a fiction.  The cost of living day to day takes all they have, with no excess for savings. Thinking of a happy retirement becomes a figment of one’s imagination. I am now trying to be more sensitive to how their history resulted in their current political view. 

I need to share some venues of information that are tailored for this segment of the population. I never watch Fox News, for example, but  just downloaded the Fox News app.  I will look at the news that the network is sharing with the public. At least I will become more aware of the information that is shared by the viewers. 

I have to remember that each person is worthy of self-esteem, regardless of one’s political views. As long as I focus on the person, I can hear what is being said in a different manner. I do not have to identify with the views, but I should be willing to identify with the person who is sharing the views. The views are coming out of the person’s history. I want to know more of that history. 

Maybe if I can understand how the person developed the views that are alien to me, I could share my perspective in a way that enables a bond to be established. Our personal experiences are the foundation of a worldview that becomes personal.  Learning the history of the person will enable a bridge to be built to enable a relationship be formed. 

My history of trying to understand life itself surely helps. My understanding of God has transitioned seemingly endlessly from a rather concrete set of beliefs to a history of trying to experience the presence of the divine as present to us all, including the universe In which we live.  If I can change such deeply rooted understanding of God, surely I should be able to develop an appreciation of others with views that appear foreign to me.

We live only once and I need to appreciate even those whose views are alien to me. 

An Unexpected Source of Joy from Being Old

Aging is inevitable and, in time, can begin to color one’s perception of life itself. I have been blessed with a happy existence. Whatever mistakes I made, the next steps seem to have brought me new joy. I have such positive memories of even some trying times because they facilitated changes that ultimately were to my benefit.

Who would think that my serious pursuit of the priesthood for eight years would yield so little fruit! I lasted only six years as a priest! Admittedly, those years were at times very exciting, sometimes productive, but always pushing me forward to the point of realizing that I would not survive as a priest.

And then, I started a new life with Joan, a gift so disproportionate to any reasonable expectation. Now looking forward to our 50th Wedding Anniversary, I can only hold her, our children and grandchildren with awe!

My joy is tempered by looking into the future. What I see makes my being old seem like an unexpected gift. I know that my perception of the state of affairs for my grandchildren is minimally jaundiced by the my negative perception of the state of our national politics with so many similarities in European national affairs.

My discouragement resulting from the current level of national alienation from any level of moderation is compounded by my understanding of what can be expected to develop in the next 30 years.

My perception of the future is based on the many articles and books that keep me occupied. I owe nothing to my originality.

As I see it, then, the world of 2050 will be significantly altered by artificial intelligence (AI). Not only will be there be less need of people to work since so much will be driven by AI, I am distressed by the national leadership that seems not only unable to start to address the needs of such a society, but is seriously undermining the common good.  To live in a society where so many will not be needed to achieve a commensurate common good will demand creative changes in our national ethos.

At the moment, the division in our national politic is enormous. I have been unable to converse openly about my understanding of our situation. Moreover, I can not look elsewhere for hope. At the moment, Ireland appears to be the only western nation that seems to have incorporated economic growth with national well-being.

I can hope that someone will emerge with the political power to advocate for some sort of universal basic income (UBI) that will provide sufficient support to enable citizens to “live” if they are not able to achieve positions that society needs to function.

Our educational system is broken. Unless one lives in wealthy communities that support the intellectual needs to function in our current and future society, the hope for an appropriate education may be shattered by the reality that the system is inadequate by virtue of the lack of funds to support the needs of the students.

Our social well-being is being eroded by internet that supports so many vehicles for people to avoid personal interaction. Society needs personal relationships that meet the human needs of being respected and loved. I realize that I am one of those dependent on internet for my need for information as well as communication. As I write this blog, I am aware that I can share this perspective personally with very few.

My life experience has been precious. I am thankful for the opportunities as well as the gifts that enabled me to experience such a wonderful life that I would hope could be had by the younger generation typified by my grandchildren.

Thanks for a New Friend

From an old man’s perspective, I never expected to have a “new” friend.  The opportunities to meet someone new becomes limited. The routines of daily life are mired, preventing opportunities to meet someone new, far less, someone who would become a friend. 

I have always treasured Joan’s Haiti friends. These women automatically became special because Joan loved them. My relationship with them was limited to their staying at our house the night before their air flight to Haiti. Clearly, they were friends.  In a sense, you had to be “special” if you voluntarily wanted to spend time in Haiti to provide care to Haitian children.  I treasured Joan’s friends.

I was always more than satisfied with having Joan as my friend. I always amazed how my personal needs were more than satisfied by Joan.

But, now I have a new friend. Joan invited one of her Haiti friends and her husband to spend time with us while we were in Florida.  To my delight, and surprise, her husband easily became my new friend.  We talked easily about many, many subjects and, most interestingly, he and I shared common values. And, even more interestingly, he taught many things that I did not know.

So, here I am approaching my 82nd birthday with the big gift of a new friend.

What a gift!

Patrick - March 17, 2011 - February 15, 2019

Like a flash, it ended.

Our Patrick who loved us,

And only us, except for grandchildren.

His eyes riveted on us,

Wanting no more than our lap.

We did not get enough of his love,

So much more was expected,

His world was us, and

We knew it, because

We loved him so much.

We know that life ends,

And we must treasure the present,

The moments of today, 

May be the last.

So thankful that Patrick loved us,

We never expected it to end so suddenly,

We will be forever be grateful for his presence,

And treasure his loving eyes that saw

His world, we the fortunate ones. 

Income Inequality

The degree of income inequality is a real problem for me, and others.  That 1% of the US population hold “about 38% of all privately held wealth while the bottom 90% held 73.2% of all debt” and “according to the New York Times, the richest 1 percent in the United States now own more wealth than the bottom 90 percent” (cf. Wikipedia) is unacceptable to me.

At the same time, I am aware that there is no easy method of distributing income fairly and productively.  I know that government programs are not managed well. Waste is often demonstrated. I am aware that people often are irresponsible in their use of money.

Given that the future will make the distribution of wealth even more problematic. Artificial Intelligence will make full employment virtually impossible within 50 years (cf. Yuval Harari). 

However, there has to be a way that some of this income of the 1% can be shared productively.

I have been impressed by Anand Giridharadas (cf. Winners Take All) who focuses on distributions that support people without necessarily putting money into their pockets. 

Our public schools are becoming sources of labor protests because students do not have ready access to books and teachers are paid so poorly that they often need a second job while others are discounting such a career in the first place since pay is so poor.

Higher education is way beyond the means of many to afford. The costs are extraordinarily high. I realize that there are reasons for the high costs of college, but any nation will benefit from their citizenry achieving sufficient education for accessing employment that will support their adult needs. Higher education should be commensurate with the needs of the nation. Not everyone needs a Harvard education, but there should be a means of everyone acquiring the needed knowledge for obtaining employment with reasonable income.

Health care is a problem for so many because the cost of private health care plans are too expensive for their income and the health care industry is skewed towards profits at the expense of the users. The health care industry is too complex for me to suggest a method to control costs, but we should enable every citizen to access needed care.

Housing costs are extraordinarily high. The general rationale for the high costs is the relative lack of available housing. The excess demand raises the cost of housing. Public monies could be used to build more housing, even though it is unclear to me how this would be done.

Spending public money of needed infrastructure would create more jobs with relatively better income. There is little dispute about the need. The public will to spend tax revenue is lacking.

I am bothered by the implications of Amazon’s expansion. Amazon has virtually destroyed traditional methods of buying goods. I surely enjoy the convenience of on-line shopping, but the implications of one company controlling so much of our purchases is not only scary, but ultimately shrinking the workforce. The implications are serious relative to the problem of equitable distribution of wealth.

Happy Birthday, Joan Louise

JOAN LOUISE

Life seems to be a series of moments,

Some determined, some by chance,

Some happy, others sad, and

At times, indifference.

Impossible to recall the moment of birth,

Need memories of parents,

Sharing their joy of a new life,

All becoming a blur with time.

Birthdays are times of memory,

Stories about the past,

Often with humor,

Sometimes with tears.

And then a stranger enters,

Wondering about sharing lives,

Hoping to create new life,

With new stories.

I wonder often about life’s serendipity,

How some seem so blessed,

And, at the moment I am the one!

I am so happy she was born,

And became part of my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOAN