Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Life is Unfair

 My daughter-in-law, the distinguished educator in New Orleans, has been a constant critic of Common Core and Charter Schools, among other multiple issues of concern. In response to some of her writing, I felt the need to share my inherent, heart-felt ache that life is unfair. 

That life is unfair may seem to epitomize the obvious! Yet, it is only in lessening the gap separating those who have been fortunate enough to have access to caring parents, good education, and economic stability and those not so fortunate that we can hope for more peaceful and productive society.  Babies are generally more alike than not. The occasionally genetic mishaps strike somewhat randomly throughout the general population. Babies do not chose to be economically deprived!


My view of life is that we are inherently more alike than not. The differences in our lives seem attributed to the impact of poverty on outcomes. Families do not do well if poor. Marriages are less likely to succeed. Poor health is correlated with various aspects of poverty, e.g., inadequate and inferior food and living conditions resulting in obesity, diabetes, asthma, and other medical conditions. 


Those living in segregated housing generally have less access to good schools that encourage academic achievement. People often chose communities to live because they support good educational systems. Those unable to exercise a choice are usually characterized by their own history of poverty and poor education, resulting in unrewarding jobs with poor pay. 


And this is looking at only this nation. What about those born in Haiti, parts of Africa and Asia, as well as other places in the world? It seems to go on and on. There is no end to the problems associated with poverty. 


No one chooses to be poor!


The worldview I have is a more equitable distribution of wealth. I support this vision both from a moral and selfish perspective.


 It is morally outrageous that the wealth of more successful people is not better shared with others. I look at my life as a gift of a series of fortunate strokes of luck. Given my early family history, it is still a mystery that I survived rather unscathed my childhood experiences. I surely do not attribute any success to my extraordinary capabilities. I was spared suffering consequences from some poor decisions and blessed by other experiences that turned out well. One could say that it was “dumb luck”. I surely was not clairvoyant, thinking strategically how best to further long term goals and objectives


My eight years studying to be a priest were less a good preparation for life than another test of survival. Our recent reunion of my priest brothers (53 years since ordination) was an opportunity to recall contemporaries now defamed because of pedophilia. Some have literally fallen off the face of the earth, i.e., no one knows what happened to them. I do not know what would have been my ultimate history if I did decide to leave on my terms. And I cannot claim that I was experienced in the business of choosing a partner in life. My choice was great in every way without giving me credit for such magnificent insight. 


In short, my good fortune in my choices makes me aware of my moral obligation to share my “wealth” with others. I have consistently admired nations that used its tax system to redistribute wealth for the benefit of everyone.


But, in addition to a moral obligation arising from my common humanity with others, there is also a selfish motive. I do see wars and conflicts arising from perceived injustices rising from the maldistribution of wealth and corruption. Instead of so much spent on weapons of war, why not work with others to use economic changes that enable people to live more easily at peace. Present discussions of problems associated with immigration reminds me that such issues would never surface if people could live justly and securely where they were born. People generally migrate to survive, as did my Irish ancestors. Irish society only worked for first-born males and women who married first-born males. Migrating was a mode to survival!


Until we address the societal unfairness resulting from economic disparities, we will continue to see that poor are more likely to have poor health, less successful education, poor choices in adult relationships, less rewarding jobs, and higher probability of a shorter lifespan.


Thursday, March 18, 2021

Being of Irish Heritage without being Irish!

 I was born of an Irish immigrant mother and a father who was most problematic. My mother NEVER referenced her heritage. Even when she associated with her siblings in our area, I was never invited to sit with them while they talked. While passing by the table, I often heard them laugh and seemingly enjoy their companionship. My father was most mean and I was the person to defend my mother from his abuse and take care of him when he was inebriated. I never argued with him. I just let the anger go in one ear and out the other. My relief was playing sports.

When I was 13 years old, I returned from being an altar boy at evening Lenten services to find my mother in bed paralyzed. Two days later she died. I was the altar boy at her funeral and I recall specifically standing next to the priest as he prayed over her casket and thanking God that she died to get out of the misery with my father.

I never celebrated St. Patrick’s Day and avoided wearing any clothing that celebrated my heritage. Being Irish represented such misery for me.

On our 25th wedding anniversary, Joan and I went to my mother’s birthplace and discovered a unbelievable world. Being Irish meant that the land you could own was less fertile. Without three hays, a family has a problem.  When we attended her church, we noticed some men smoking while they rested their arm on a brick wall. Questioning what I saw, I was told that it was a tradition based on the history that men did this to watch for signs of the British coming so that they could alert the people in the Church to leave.  We met a few distant relatives, but it was virtually unbelievable that there were supposedly 13 children who were born in this most small two story home, now vacant. Apparently, my mother never met some of the younger siblings.

We returned to find that “Out of Ireland” was playing in the Dedham movie theater. And what an eye opener it was.

If you were not the first born male or not married to the first born male, you had no choice but to leave Ireland. Such a forced decision resulted in their use of the term “Exiled”  to reference the forced need to leave the country they loved. To deal with this pain, the movie indicated that they would never talk about it. 

It surely explained my experience with my mother and her siblings that I knew. However, it did not give me new feelings of being of Irish heritage. I am left with so many who enjoy hearing their music, the scenery, and now a national government that seems to many steps ahead of many nations.

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Living in the Moment

 My life experience of dealing with the meaning of one’s existence is a very long story. What I want to share is how I deal with my daily life. I have come to a very simple approach: I live in the Moment.


Live in the Moment

1. Be in a relaxed position

2. Focus on breathing out slowing and inhaling similarly (5-10 times). As in each step, if other thoughts come in, just refocus

3. The big thing is this next step.  

 4. Focus on the wonder that, in this moment, you exist in this humongous and beautiful universe. Whenever a thought about the past moments, days, or experiences emerges, just refocus on this beautiful MOMENT.  Whenever a thought about a future moment (or day, etc.) emerges, just refocus on this moment.

That’s it! I live only in the MOMENT (obviously I often think of other things, e.g., the destruction of our constitutional government) for in the MOMENT, I am aware of being alive in this wondrous universe, knowing that we still do not know the parameters of it. Wow! I no longer focus on my physical “deterioration”, based on age.  I do not attend on my future, knowing that I will try to stay in the MOMENT. The future will be what it will be. 

For me, the MOMENT is the only reality in my life.  The past (moments or years) no longer exist. The future does not exist. Thinking about either does nothing, e.g., worrying about how I will die is such a waste of time, e.g., I could stop breathing in the next moment. Thinking about a future that only exists in my imagination is such a waste of energy. It does not exist! At this moment, I am with you in spirit. What more could I ask?

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Our Current World

As I can foresee the end of my life,

Who would think that I feel lucky!

Reading as I do, 

Day in and day out

The world’s problems,

Once thought as foreign,

Now seem to be surfacing here


Even within the mystery of life,

So many nations have been destroyed,

Watching one after another eating their own,

Hoping that they would wake up 

And live with one another in peace.


But now I see our nation joining.  

The nightmare of other nations,

Seemingly creeping into dichotomies

That can only result in the breakdown

Of the Constitution that has cemented us.


I can only hope that we, the People,

Will look back with gratitude to our ancestors

And push onward to restore the narrative 

That We, the People, have so much to treasure

And cannot bear to let it be destroyed.