“Tu est sacerdos in aeternum[1]”
opens Maguire’s book as he thinks back to another moment in time when he was
ordained a priest in Rome. He has traveled a long way to this point in his life
when he has virtually transversed the entire spectrum of theological thought to
one that now is clearly identified with a “No God” understanding of life. It is
not a new position, but it has caused some commotion at Marquette University
where he has been tenured for many years in the theology department.
His journey from the day when he was ordained is not that
much different than mine, albeit, I am not as competent as he. Some may find it
difficult to comprehend how one’s understanding of such basic statements of
life can change so radically. I surely understand since I am totally amazed at
the comparison of my current views and understanding of life with those
identified at the moment I was ordained on 2 February 1963.
I write this blog not as a review of the book (review http://ncronline.org/books/2015/03/lower-case-god-and-revolutionary-vision),
but as another chance to note the history of my change in beliefs.
I am sure that I was not unusual to be convinced that my
belief structure was solid since the “faith” was built on “truth”. I had not a
shred of doubt about my beliefs when I was ordained. Yet, I knew that that
there had already been change while in the seminary. There was, in fact,
dramatic change when Pope John was elected pope. All of a sudden, we became
aware that the Bible was not “history” but a record of beliefs captured by
stories or “myths”. This was a major change from the literal interpretations
presented by our professors during the prior two years. It initiated me into a
relatively sober need to distrust what my professors taught by reading the
writings of the more progressive European theologians. There remained a
conviction that the “truth” remained with Christianity, but maybe there was
more to understand than I then knew. There was never a thought that I would
essentially become a non-Christian, far less an atheist.
I recall the awakening when I recognized that a basic moral
tenet of Catholicism was wrong. Parishioners who questioned the morality of
birth control spent time with me arguing about its validity. I was forced to
read more until I finally reached the point that I agreed with them! It was
such a major moment to openly disagree with a basic element of moral theology.
It occurred to me, then, that other basic understandings promoted by the Church
could also be wrong.
Involvement with the civil rights movement in 1965 ff. promoted
an understanding that “God” was clearly present in the people dedicated to
racial justice, independent of their belief systems, if any. There was such a
broad range of humanity who identified with the sacredness of each human being,
regardless of color or ethnicity. If “God” was present in such a range of
different beliefs than it became apparent that there might be no basis for any
one faith or understanding being unique by virtue of understanding truth. An
element of relativism impinged my understanding that religious “truth” was
absolute and this truth resided uniquely in the Catholic Church.
Events started to steamroll. It became a source of humor
when it became clear that one of my priest associates in my first parish
assignment had a mission to contradict in his sermons whatever I was saying in
prior homilies. He felt, as he once told me, “ I was very dedicated but was
being used by the devil to destroy the Church”. While the notion that I had that kind of power was
ridiculous, it clearly represented a step in my alienation. Shortly,
thereafter, I was transferred into an extraordinarily conservative parish where
one of the priests apparently (unknown to me at the time) had the assignment to
“straighten me out”. The contrast between my fellow priests and myself was so
strong that alienation would be too mild a term to describe the situation. I
was forbidden to teach Christian doctrine to the children because it was felt
that I was not presenting the doctrine correctly. Meetings with the bishop only heightened the differences
between the power structure and myself. I saw no one way to resolve this degree
of estrangement and I decided to leave the ministry.
Scholars, as in Dominic Crossan, Yves Congar, Bernard
Lonergan, Edward Schillbeeckx, and many others had now impacted my thinking to
the point that I was essentially on the road to become a non-believer. It was
not a sudden awakening. Rather, it was a slow erosion of any rationalization I had
for continuing to identify myself as a believer. I continued to attend Catholic
liturgies by casting a liberal interpretation of what transpired.
Gary Wills’ book, Papal Sin, started the final turn
towards the end. His bald, but true, claim that the pope was lying about many
of the claims of the Catholic Church, e.g., Jesus established a church or a male
priesthood, which were blatantly false and known to the authorities. To repeat
claims and to enforce practices, e.g., birth control, that were not credible
pushed him and me beyond levels of rationalizing what I heard stated either at
Sunday services or other public venues. It would be hypocritical to continue to
identify myself as a Christian, far less a Catholic.
However, I left open the possibility that “God” who was unknowable
by definition could reference a reality that would remain unknowable but real.
Such a reality would not be personal, a reality that would have a relationship
with anyone more than the cosmos in general. Such a reality would be a
constant, benign factor, as the Ground of Being, that would be incorporated
into the interpretation of life itself.
Daniel Maguire’s latest book has moved me to the position
that there is no “God”. I recommend his book for a more detailed understanding
of a very complex topic. In general, however, he sets Christianity within the
history of man’s history of seeking meaning to experiences in their world.
Christianity builds on earlier interpretations, as a means of giving meaning to
a world that appears threatening.
Maguire does not discard the value of metaphors used in
Christian writings. But, metaphors are not reality. Moreover, much of
Christianity falsifies Jesus by making him other than he saw himself. He did
not see himself as a builder of a new religion who had to die as a sacrifice to
a God who demanded justice. He did not establish a new religion with a
priesthood that was designed to convey the “Truth”. He was one of many people
of history in the Middle East who were prophets traveling to point out
injustice in the name of the downtrodden.
Christianity, as known today, is a product of a legion of
followers who saw possibilities of adding meaning to the lives of their
contemporaries. The scaffolding was incrementally built during the period
between Jesus’ crucifixion, resulting from his being a thorn in Rome’s pursuit
of control, and Constantine who used Christianity to establish greater control
of his empire.
I come, then, this point in my life when all the historical
underpinnings of my understanding of existence have disappeared. There has been
a slow and steady transition from a firm, if not intolerant, commitment to
Catholicism, to my present understanding that there is no God, far less the
apparatus of religions, including Christianity. The transition has not been
sudden. There were incremental changes over fifty years.
I now revel in my understanding of the evolution of an
amazing and beautiful universe in which I am fortunate to experience life. The
gift of life remains as significant, if not more significant, without a God.
Without a conviction of a life after death, this life becomes more precious. To
remain part of this cosmos, even in dust, makes me want to do my best to love
this moment in time. When considering that my “moment” in time has been relatively
long, with such an array of beautiful experiences with Joan, our children and
grandchildren, and so many others who have contributed to my personhood,
including the authors of so much creative work, I can enter the last segment of
life as one who traveled life with a willingness to learn from others and
experience, itself, that change is part of life.
